Are you the Mother of your Children?

What a goofy question right? Ummm.. no need for maternity tests over here, clearly I carried my son and am baking my second, of course I am their mother. I am the one they will call mom, I will kiss boo boo's and make breakfasts and change far too many poopy diapers.

I wan't you to sit back and ask yourself, beyond all doubt, without hesitation do you think you are in fact the mother of your child[ren]?

Now consider this, when making important and potentially life changing decisions in regards to how you wan't to raise these babies of yours, can you say that all of the many important decisions you have made have been your own? Something that many first time, second time and even fifth or sixth time mothers face is criticism from others. Making the decision to switch to formula is bound to receive unwelcome judgement from those who have chosen otherwise. New advances in science leading to massive changes in standardized cribs and safe sleeping remedies may seem ridiculous to those in the generations prior to us. Deciding to homeschool when your children's cousins all attend the same elementary school can bring in one too many eye rolls. Or simply deciding to have children closer in age as we have can invite uncomfortable questions. When pregnant with my son, all of my decisions relied heavily on what those around me thought was best. If I am being honest, I didn't have a voice. I knew that I was at the short end of the stick from the get go, my son was not planned and birthed out of wedlock, there for I was viewed by some as unprepared and those who were concerned for my abilities as a mother let me know "how things should be done" and so I did them. Thankfully there were also those who loved us unconditionally and guided us alongside our journey into parenthood with grace and open minds.. they guided us.

I have never in my life felt compelled to tell another mother how to raise her children, and unless I see true danger within her actions I will continue to keep my opinions to myself. Why is this? Well, who am I to say that she is truly wrong? What is even considered right? What is right by me is far from right for many other mothers who are doing wonderful jobs raising families of their own. I am adopted, I was adopted at birth and there for I was bottle fed formula from day one. Had anyone come up and scolded my mother on all of life's benefits she so horribly was depriving me from, they would look like a fool. Formula WAS best for me, it was all that I had and my mother spent loads of her time and money on finding out what brand was best for me. She was right, she was the mother, and no one had the right to tell her otherwise.

In today's world motherhood is more of a competition rather than a sisterhood. Are we not all walking blindly along the same road hoping to reach one common goal in the end? We all want to raise bold and beautiful children into strong and courageous adults. The ways that we go about it can be different as night and day but that doesn't make us any different than one another. Why should we feel dignified to shun those who aren't exactly like we are? Whether they're mothers with children our age or now mothers of adults who are older than we are? Thankfully we are living in a world where things such as race and sexual orientation are now becoming a thing in the past and we are all simply one. Black, white or purple we are ALL human. Gay or straight we are ALL capable of love. Breastfed, bottle fed, co-sleeping, stay at home moms, working mothers, babywearers, whatever you may be.. we are all mothers. There is no prejudice. There is no room for eye rolling. Only when we open our minds and hearts to realizing that there are "other" ways of doing things, rather than "right and wrong" will we finally achieve the sisterhood of motherhood.

Until then, rock on momma bears and keep loving on those little ones. While there is much left to improve upon, it starts with us. Chose love.

-T