We are 25 weeks along and time finally seems to start slowing down a little, so I am embracing all of our moments before our second little one enters the world. As much as we can't wait to kiss your soft face, and find our whether you are our sweet Henry or precious Poppy there is always a certain level of fear when adding another family member.. what will our lives look like? Will you and your brother get along? What will this mean for us all?
Having a second child has been a learning curve for me. While easier in some ways I feel that it's much harder than the first time around, and I often find myself thinking that this little one gets much less than his or her older brother did. But that's okay, that is normal and I reassure myself that this child was created from a place of love and that this "second child" life is just what he or she was made for.
I am sorry that you won't get the one-on-one time that your brother did. I apologize that you will quickly have to learn to defend yourself against a toddler who wants you to play harder than what you are capable of. You will be coming into this world to be compared to how your older sibling looked, acted and slept. There will be times that you are left crying because I am hands deep in a toddler sized mess when I would've come running in a moments notice of a cry from my first born. While I tried hard to only play the safest, most educational things on the TV for your brother and limit his screen time, you will be watching whatever happens to be on because it will help keep your brother tame. I will be more tired, loose my sanity more often and have more responsibilities within my days.
But..
You will also have an older sibling who will look out for you devoutly from the moment you enter this world. You will never have to be alone. All of the little mistakes we made with our first you won't have to experience (all though I'm sure we will make many mistakes completely unique to you). Chances are you will get away with more because mom has "relaxed" a little since her uptight firstborn phase has now passed. You will be showered with love from all of our family members even if you are wearing hand-me-downs!
Being a first born myself I truly craved so many of the things that you will have, and as I know that life will be much different for you than it was for your brother what I do know is that many of my days I desired to be right where you are. Under the wing of a wiser older sibling - who made the mistakes first so I could study up on how mom and dad reacted - and not be the first child to go through major changes in the family, as those times of transition were hard.
One thing will stay the very same, our love for you and your brother will radiate through all that we do. We live this life for you. While I cannot yet imagine a life with you, the moment you appear I won't be able to fathom a life without you.
You are cherished my littlest one, by all three of us. 15 more weeks.
-T
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