Time.

It has been a hot minute since I have sat down to write, and it feels good.

Writing has always been a source of relief for me, the little bit of "me" time that I sneak into my days to help keep me sane. It was the whole reason I started to blog and the whole reason that I must keep going regardless of life events that come our way.

This morning was different than the norm for our family, Colbie unexpectedly kept me up all night for the first time, so I asked my husband if he could take her when he woke up. Carter woke up a short time later and then AJ came and woke me up after about an hour of sweet, uninterrupted sleep to take over before he left for work. It was plain to see that he was running a little bit late and it was stressing him out, upon leaving he told me something that I am sure that we all have said many times over,

"I just wish I had more time"

There are home improvements we are trying to make that are taking a while to complete, we have phone calls to make to numerous people about different things, I have doctors appointments that I need to make for myself, but we simply cannot find the time. The theme seems to be that our children are taking up all of our time because they are so dependent - and this is true. Colbie wishes to be held all day, Carter is at an age where he wants to explore but still needs help, both kids need naps and diaper changes and baths and food and love and the list goes on. Between all of these moments it's easy to find stress seep in, but even if we were granted with more time to our days - would you choose to spend it any differently?

Someday this will be a memory.

I was once told to cherish these moments because "this will be the best time of my life". I am here, living the very best time in my life that I will ever get to live. When I look back I won't remember how I didn't get the chance to call so-and-so or finish this and that. I will remember the way that my daughter looks at my husband, the goofy sounds that Carter makes once he drifts off to sleep and the warmth of my two children in bed with us in the morning.

Yesterday is gone. I never get it back.

Colbie wants to be held for most of her day, and someday she won't want to be held at all. Someday I will put her down, never to pick her up again. During those days will I be able to look back on life and smile, knowing that I lived every sweet and precious moment to the extent of its glory, or will I ache for these days to come back to me?

Carter is living and breathing his "terrible two's", when I look back will I feel content knowing that I always sought to cherish how truly beautiful this stage can be or will I find that I was hung up in frustration at his spouts of anger?

My husband is correct, We all do wish we had more time.

But even with more time, I wouldn't choose to spend it any other way than basking in the love of my children. Because time is a gift with a limit. It is ever so easy to find yourself caught up in the stresses that embrace all that is parenthood, God never intended this journey to be easy - but he wouldn't have given us this time if it wasn't something that he knew we were capable of.

So hold your children a few minutes longer, kiss them one more time, listen to the long and endless stories that they have to share with you, put everything down for a moment and use your time wisely. Use this time to truly live, relish in the moments we have before they are gone.

Anything can wait in line to the love of my children. Always.

- T