The Hardest Part

I have been pleasantly surprised with the ease of our transition into life with two children. The love they have for each other always astounds me, our days are filled with such joy (and minor chaos). I don't know how we ever lived without the both of them! While transitioning to two wasn't the nightmare for me that everyone made it out to be, no transition comes flawlessly.

The hardest part of my transition has not been what you would think, we were lucky to escape jealousy issues, we sleep well at night, Carter has been happy as ever and Colbie is an absolute gem. The hardest part of the transition is myself. There are few nights where I don't sit there wishing I had more hours in the day for my kids. I remember spending all day giving Carter attention because he was my only little one and I loved that! Most nights I will think back on my day and wish I had more of myself to go around to give one of my kids just a little bit more. Whether that day was consumed with toddler sized tantrums and Carter demanding my attention or maybe that day Colbie was a little fussier than normal and I wasn't able to sit and color with Carter like we are used to.

I go to sleep needing more time.

I want to be able to lay on the floor with Colbie giving her undivided attention and helping her thrive all while having a few hours to do arts and crafts and run around with my growing boy. Between that, typical household duties and being a student I can't seemingly find the happy middle ground.

AJ and I want a large family and always have, it's a dream of mine. But I can't help but think that if I don't have the time now I certainly won't have the time when we add more. How am I supposed to give enough time and attention to five children when I am failing at doing so with two? For the first time in my life I have thought very seriously about the fact that I may be done having children. I was sharing this with my husband the other night when he asked me one question..

Do you think our kids feel this way?

... Well. No.

They know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved, neither one of them seems to feel neglected at the end of the day. Neither of them are failing to thrive because of me. They are happy, they are healthy and they love their mother.

I have to remind myself often that many times my own insecurities can take a vicious hold of my mind and that when I take the time to look at things from a new angle I am often left feeling pretty silly. While I will still always wish for more hours in the day to spend with my babies I have to remind myself that they love this life just as much as I do, even if maybe that day we didn't get to color as long or roll around on the floor as much. My heart is big enough for the both of them even if the day is not!

Let's all take a moment and quit beating ourselves up for little things that may not be worth our time, take a deep breath and know that our children love us for all that we are and all that we do.

- T

Hobokin & Co

I am so excited to share with you today my new favorite staple piece to, literally, any outfit of mine! The Hobokin & Co Rose Quartz Drop necklace! What enticed me most to this piece is the rose quartz itself, I had heard of all of its incredible benefits but have never been able to try it out for myself, so once I saw that Lauryn had them in her shop I knew I had to snag one.

The rose quartz is considered to be the stone of love, helping you to rid of any emotional wounds that you may have (whether big or small!). In my case I knew it could help me in my relationship with my husband, although our relationship is strong and beautiful I have a tendency to bring up the past a lot in arguments which I know is not beneficial. I wanted the rose quartz to help me rid of all the petty little issues that my husband and I had in the past and be able to focus in on the "now". Issues like "Well.. two weeks ago you forgot to put the towel back on the rack and left it on the floor!", those little tiny issues grew to be one big issue making it hard for me to see the beauty in all the other parts of our relationship. The rose quartz also provides a deep sense of fulfilment and contentment allowing one to truly give and receive love from others, which is something I knew I needed in regards to my children on the days that I feel under appreciated (which can be most days!).

Another thing I deeply admire about Hobokin & Co is not only the quality of Lauryn's products but the fact that all of her pieces are made by her hard working momma hands in her home during her spare time in order to provide for her family. There is nothing sweeter than knowing that you are contributing directly to a family's dinner table, and there is nothing more inspiring than a mother who works so hard to provide it. Her "job" is less of a job to her and more of a source of happiness and meditation and you can see this through the love she puts into all of her work.

Want to see the entire Hobokin & Co collection? Click HERE and be sure to use the code "ddd20" for 20% off your next purchase!

- T

| http://www.hobokinandco.com/ | Sterling Silver Quartz Drop with Silver Bar |

Telling our Families we were Pregnant

This week we are spending time on the vlog catching everyone up on our past all the way up to our present! There is a whole lot to our story just to put into a few short minutes of film but this sums it up pretty well. Be sure to watch to hear about how I met my husband and how we told our families we were expecting the arrival of our sweet sweet boy!

- T

Welcome to YouTube!

We are so excite to announce the beginning of our Vlogging Journey! Long awaited we finally took the plunge into the youtube world (as if we didn't already have our hands full) and posted our first video! Be sure to subscribe to our channel for more updates about our crazy family!

- T

Car Seat Safety

Tis' the season for traveling, and whether you are traveling near or far safety is always a priority. There are some things that I wouldn't have known I was doing wrong unless someone was kind enough to point out my mistakes. All too often I see mothers lashing out on those who offer their advice with the "I'm his mother not you", and while there are situations that will warrant that response, I hardly believe that any situation regarding the potential life or death of your child is one of them. I've gathered a few tips that make our lives easier as well as guidelines for traveling safely with your children in hopes of making your holiday trips a little easier.

1. Clip and Straps
It takes only a few extra seconds of your time to ensure that your children's chest clip and straps are in the right place, a few seconds of time to safe your child from harms way. The chest clip should rest at the level of the armpit and no higher or lower. Make sure that the straps themselves are not twisted and that they come from behind the shoulders and not above.

2. Bulky Clothing

Something that many may not know is dangerous, especially during these cold months, is that any big and bulky coats are a hazard to the safety and efficiency of your car seat. Below you can see how loose my son's straps were after buckling him in with his winter coat and then taking it off, if you can pinch the straps they are too loose!

Instead of using big bulky coats, start the car ahead of time allowing it to warm up, pack the coats in your diaper bag and have blankets to use while in the car. You can just as easily put the jacket on your children once you arrive to your destination! In our car we keep a soft cloth box between the kids filled with blankets, coats, hats, gloves and other things to help keep them safe while they are also warm!

3. Keep Space

Something that I was completely unaware of before having children was that you should always have space between the car seat and headrests to keep your children safe in the event of a collision. This little bit of space can make a huge difference if your car was to become compact during a head on collision! Take a few moments to adjust your seats accordingly!

4. No Accessories

This one is simple but vastly unknown. If you add any extra padding or accessories to your car seat you are potentially creating an unsafe situation as well as voiding any warranty on your car seat. The seats are designed and tested to be safe without the extras so they are simply unnecessary. 

5. Level Indicator

On a majority of newer car seats you will find that they come with a level indicator that will show you exactly the angle your car seat needs to be at according to the age and weight of your children. As you can imagine my newborn is more reclined than my almost 2 year old, and thanks to the level indicator I am able to adjust this as they grow!

6. Just Do It

This is the "tip" that I find myself most passionate about. Why? Because I would never forgive myself if something happened to my toddler that I could have prevented. I rear face my 22 month old with no intentions of that changing any time soon. He weighs 28 lbs and is a short little guy, his car seat says that I can start facing him forwards at 20 lbs but can rear face him until he reaches 40. Why do the bear minimum requirements of anything in life? Beyond all excuses I have ever heard this is not just for fun, there is science behind why this is safer for your children and there is nothing that will keep me from keeping them as safe as possible. This is helpful information from Car Seats for the Littles (a highly trusted car seat safety source) :

Vertebrae at age 1 (left) and 6 (right)

"let’s talk crashes. According to NHTSA, roughly 60% of vehicle crashes are frontal impacts and 20% are side impacts. During a crash, occupants will travel towards the point of impact, putting all the stress on the neck and spine. At that moment there are actually three impacts: the vehicle striking whatever it strikes, the body of the occupant being retained by the seat belt or harness, and then the internal organs striking the front of the inside of the body. When someone is rear facing, crashes two and three occur in concert and the forces of the crash are more equally diffused along the shell of the seat, holding the neck and spine in line.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends rear facing until a minimum of age two, based on findings published by BMJ Injury Prevention. This study compared injury statistics for 15 years worth of crashes involving children under age 2. Researchers compared the injuries sustained by the children in crashes and found “the odds of severe injury for forward-facing infants under 12 months of age were 1.79 times higher than for rear-facing infants; for children 12 to 23 months old, the odds were 5.32 times higher.”

The undeveloped bones in your child's growing body are in danger if you face them forward too soon. One of the biggest arguments that I have heard against rear facing toddlers is that there legs will break in an accident, my favorite saying is "Do you want a cast or a casket?". Or that their toddlers are uncomfortable and would rather be facing forward. Your children don't know any different, they've never experienced facing forward so how would they know that rear facing is more uncomfortable? Below are the many positions that my son sits in perfectly content while we are in the car, all of which are safer to him than any alternative.

As mothers the safety of our children is always first on our minds. Some of the best things I have ever learned is from the advice of others around me, as well as some of the worst. The beauty of advice is that it's simply that.. it's advice. It is up to you, as the mother, to decide what to do with that advice. All I can ask is that when a mother/father/family member/friend or even stranger seeks to give you advice pertaining to the safety of your little one's don't jump the defensive gun. No one is telling you that you're a bad mom, do you know why they are telling you this? Because they care. They care enough about you and your children to share information that they find valuable with you, that is such an incredible compliment. So take my "tips" as you will and travel safely this holiday season with your little ones. 

And a very blessed and Merry Christmas,

-T

Additional recourses (great reads!):

 - http://csftl.org/why-rear-facing-the-science-junkies-guide/

 - http://www.safercar.gov/parents/index.htm

 - https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/on-the-go/Pages/Car-Safety-Seats-Information-for-Families.aspx