We found out that we were expecting the week that our son turned one, we waited until we were 12 weeks along before telling anyone because we knew that alongside the news many people would have lots of questions that were going to be frustrating to answer.
- Yes. We did plan this.
- No. I am not crazy.
- You're right.. I don't know what I am getting myself into.
- I do fully understand I will have two under two.
- Yes. If we have more the gap will probably be similar.
- Yes. We are happy.
When people hear that you actually planned to have two children close in age it comes as a shock to them, I couldn't tell you why. My toddler and newborn are 20 months apart and there has yet to be a time we travel out into public without someone telling us how "brave" or "crazy" we are. Even worse, complete strangers asking if we "are done" now. Almost as if they are implying that us having children so close is a childish act we needed to get out of our system. Far more often then not, when people ask us these questions they follow it up asking about how our son handled the transition into brotherhood at such a young age. This is my favorite question to answer.
How did Carter handle becoming a brother at 20 months of age?
With Grace.
There is a reason that we chose this age gap, and it is the very same reason that people choose to have larger age gaps. We chose this because it was what worked for our for our family! My husband and I both have siblings that are much further apart in age, and that was what worked for our families. As a family they decided that 5+ years was what they needed, just like many others do. We desired something different and it works and that's okay.
My son transitioned fluidly, he loves his sister. We include him in everything, we don't try to keep them apart out of fear he is too rough, we take turns spending one-on-one time with him and life only became more beautiful with Colbie's presence. We understood that there would be a little bit of confusion and talked about how we wanted to address that confusion before she arrived. All in all.. we are okay, our life wasn't turned upside down and neither was his.
There are age gaps much smaller and much larger than the one that we happened to see fit for our family, and guess what? That's just fine. Because other people's reproductive choices aren't up to me to decide.
What happened to my toddler when we had a baby?
Our hearts all grew together, and I was lucky enough to watch it unfold.
- T
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