My Marriage Comes 'Before' my Children.

This is one of "those" posts. One that you have to read from beginning to end before truly understanding, and one that many people will disagree with, and it won't apply to everyone's lives the same way it applies to our own! However it is something that I am very passionate about.. truly my marriage is what I am most passionate about in my life. If anyone were ever to ask me who comes first in my life, what comes first or what is most important the go to answer for most is there children. And yes, I am with my babies so much more than I am with my husband, they rely on me more than my husband does and require more of my attention than my husband (sometimes..) but my marriage comes 'before' my children.

I would've never imagined myself saying something like that. From the moment we found out we were expecting Carter my life started to revolve entirely around him. AJ and I were lucky that our local church offered marriage classes they offered to engaged couples before their wedding day, we kind of laughed at the idea at first when is was mentioned to us and decided to go because it was something that was recommended, heck both of our parents did it before us and they have beautiful marriages so it couldn't hurt. It wasn't before long that we had a week focused on the idea of family and what that meant to us, and that is where we were asked..

"What comes first in your life?"

Neither AJ or I hesitated to say it was the growing baby in my belly! We smiled and were proud, and out of no where we were hit with a giant brick wall.. we were told we were wrong?! What do you mean I am wrong? The words that followed have stuck with my husband and I, they permanently left an imprint on our souls and completely defined our marriage.

My children are here because of the love I share with my husband. Every little life decision we make for our children we will make as a married couple. The foundation that we set in our marriage will be the guidelines of which our children will use to find their own happily ever after's. If we didn't put our marriage first, then what stable grounds do we have left for parenting? I want my kids to see that the love their parents have for each other is unbreakable, I want them to watch us and see inspiration and feel safe in the arms of our family. We are their foundation, their home base, their safe haven.

I want them to grow up searching for the love they they saw between their mom and dad. I want them to see that sometimes it's hard, but without fail we never give up and it will always get better. I want my husband and I to be able to make decisions for our family as one, and together we can make our lives as beautiful as possible. Without putting my husband and our marriage first none of this would be possible. Marriage is the most self sacrificing thing I have ever had to do, it is so much harder than having children. It is a life long commitment that I made and I work on it every single day and I am far from perfect. I am learning about AJ as every day goes by, and in turn he is teaching me about myself. We don't give 50/50, its always 100% even when I don't want to.

My children will always be taken care of, loved beyond belief, cherished and celebrated. I love my family unconditionally and putting my marriage first doesn't change that, it only helps our love grow stronger. So yes, my marriage comes before my children, because without it we would be nothing, we wouldn't be where we are today. Marriage is the happiest contract I have ever entered into, with the most work implied behind each and every promise, and something that my husband and I take with the upmost sincerity. So thank you AJ, for helping me create this beautiful life, and even more beautiful - the foundation upon which we create and raise our family. "I do" every single day, I still do, and I always will.

-T