Half way done little one! This week brought on a whole new set of challenges as well as a whole lot of love. I remember having some minor pelvic pain while pregnant with Carter, but nothing like this. I've had to whip out the pregnancy belt a few times to use as support all though I am far from as large as I was when I started using it with Carter. We have also gotten a sudden lack of energy and I will happily admit to stealing Carter during naps, taking him to my room and napping together for nearly 3 hours each day, much needed and thank goodness I have such a cuddly little boy to snuggle with.
They say that you are always bigger with your second child and I certainly feel that way, however when I was pregnant with Carter I had already gained 20 pounds at 20 weeks where as I still haven't gained a pound thus far! I am carrying much higher than I was with Carter which is adding to the sensation that I am larger. Seeing all the differences between the pregnancies makes me smile, everyone always says that each pregnancy is different but never in my life could I have imagined them being SO polar opposite. It will be fun to see the differences in personalities between my kiddos as well.
Something that I wanted to share that I feel goes untalked about was pregnancy insecurities. Let's face it, we all have them. Pregnancy is life's most beautiful process yet sometimes it can be hard for us to feel like that is the case. I teamed up with some of everyone's favorite Instagram mothers who are also expecting to discuss their own individual insecurities as well as my own:
JuJu (@keepingupwithjuju_)
"My biggest insecurity being pregnant is showing so soon. Having people give me looks and making remarks on how big I am. To explain to every person that I've has twins and my uterus is just stretched out from them is exhausting and honestly, kinda weird. Instead of worrying about strangers and what they say, I just smile and nod back at them with their remarks and say thank you. There should be a law for us pregnant woman, to never be allowed to make any remarks while a woman is pregnant. All you're allowed to say is, "congrats" or "you're awesome!" I know deep down in my heart how proud I am, and how proud we should all be. We carry humans in our bodies. Nothing beats that. No matter how small or big we get.
Brenna (@lifewithaustinandemelia)
My biggest pregnancy insecurity would be getting bigger not necessarily by gaining weight but by just having my stomach get big. I've always struggled with how I look and to have my stomach get big and my clothes not fit always makes me insecure. How I manage to get over them is by knowing my body's growing an amazing little child that some women would die to be able to do. And it's only for 9 months and then my body will be back to normal!
Jewel (@thecomoclan)
I'm on my 5th pregnancy, and each has been different in many ways. So when thinking about some of my pregnancy insecurities it's hard for me to narrow down one or even two specific ones because they were different every time. I remember being so dismayed with how many stretch marks I got while pregnant with Aiden, and worrying about how much extra weight I gained with Brandon. With every pregnancy, though, one very big insecurity has loomed bigger and scarier and become quite the mountain in my mind. It's an emotional insecurity that's rooted in my physical ones. Along with the whole gaining weight, stretch marks, and shrinking boobs, with every pregnancy I feel more emotionally burdened about how the physical changes each pregnancy puts me through changes the way my husband sees me, and consequently our relationship. It's very obvious that 5 pregnancies will change a body, but when all those changes result in something so drastically different from the 'original model' so to speak, is what is left enough to keep us not only together, but growing closer as a couple and family? My husband has never brought up the issue of 'stretch marks' or 'my fat' and he is the sweetest, most caring, supportive and attentive partner through the roughs of our pregnancies (they seem to get rougher physically every time). But it's something that as my body declines my mind cannot put away. In a way it is me putting unrealistic expectations and demands on myself. It's something that I may struggle with for a while until I have the chance to whip my butt back into shape after this baby. I don't know if I will ever completely get 'over it' but I hope that eventually with hard work, and lots of love, I will be able to feel confident again not only physically but emotionally as well. It's about learning to trust in my husband and believe that it isn't only the physical aspects of a person that makes someone love someone, but their spirit, or soul. And that what we had (not to mention 4 gorgeous angels with us now) will continue to blossom and grow and be the foundation of our loving family.
Myself (@dirtydiaperdiaries)
My biggest insecurity is without a doubt how young I look. On a good day I look maybe 18 years old, on a typical trip to the grocery store without getting myself ready I will look about 17 or younger. Seeing the way that people look at me with my son and growing belly is heart breaking. To sit an watch them flip through a story they've made up about me in their heads always gets me going, because I know where they think I am in my life. A handful of times I have stopped to tell them how I feel about their looks and they leave dumbfounded that I am in fact 21, married, educated and successful. When I was pregnant with Carter I went on a hospital tour with my mother and we learned that our hospital offered large double beds for AJ and I to sleep on together during our stay. While we were busy admiring this, a nurse walked up to us telling us to move on with the tour because they don't offer the double bed to minors.. I was no minor. The story still gets to me today. I hate that I look so young, I'm so tired of hearing about how much I will enjoy it later in life because I am not there yet. My kids are getting judged by the face of their mother. It gets to me so much that I try not to go many places without AJ to avoid the judgement. However, that's all that it is. Poor judgement. Walking with my head held high and not bothering to look at those around me is my cure. I am proud of my family, I am proud of our situation, I wouldn't live my life any different and the assumptions of those I will never care about don't matter.
Every pregnancy comes with great joys and big mountains that we must get over. None of us are alone, we all have soft spots. But regardless of how we feel during the experience we all come out with the same prize, beautiful new humans that we are able to love for the rest of our lives. I know that I can speak for us all when saying no matter the stretch marks, the weight gain, the body image, or the looks from strangers.. these tiny little humans are worth it all.
Happy 20 weeks little Henry or Pennelope. We love you so dearly.
-T
| Banner : @littledovie | littledovie.com |
Its so comforting to read that ither pregnant moms have such similar insecurities about pregnancy, i can definitely relate to yours about looking young, im 25, married, college educated, and about to have my second baby, but i know people look at me with my blue hair, nosering, visible tattoos and bare face that looks about 18 years old and make all kinds of judgements.
ReplyDeleteI honestly have the same issue as you! People think it's just soooo funny when they find out I'm 23, not a "young teen" or even a child who requires a children's menu at a restaurant! (Both of which have really happened... More than once!) When my first born, who is now 4.5, was 6 months I was checking out at the grocery store and someone actually came out and asked me if she was mine and how old I was!
ReplyDelete