Hello little one, 32 fast weeks have gone by and there are 8 left until your presence graces our lives. It's hard to imagine life with you here and by our side, I forgot what life with a newborn was like! I can't fathom there being anyone but your brother and I to spend our days with and yet I cannot wait. But never in a million years could I have imagined myself begging you to stay put for each and every one of these last few weeks.
I am a perfectionist. I cannot rest until things are done and done correctly and it's both a blessing and a curse. Once I get started on a project, any project, it has to be finished in that same sitting. When we moved from Idaho to Washington I unpacked our entire home in a 24 hour period.. you heard me. Every box was emptied and every piece of furniture had a place. So it was no surprise to myself that once we conceived our second child, I soon became enthralled with the naming process. I am a person who is not too picky, I can gather a group of names that I enjoy and be settled, and this was our plan. We truly had no intentions of going into birth with only one name for either gender and that seemed like it made the most sense.
I quickly realized this was no easy task.
My husband on the other hand is the pickiest person alive when it comes to names. Somehow he knows someone who did something somewhere who had that name and therefor we cannot use it.. and we are talking "My third cousin twice removed had a goldfish who had babies and one of them happened to be named Stella". And thus.. the name is taken. Our personalities clash hard during this process and it was a god sent miracle that we chose Henry and Penelope after weeks on end of high stress over a situation that should be blissful!
The weeks went on and the names stayed the same, similarly to Carter's pregnancy. We had two names, on for each gender, they stuck and that was that! I was happy and felt good with the choices we had made. As the pregnancy has progressed more and more people around us started naming their little one's Penelope (you have fabulous taste!) and the name slowly started slipping away from me. Calling her Penelope didn't seem right. I wouldn't think of my daughter each time I said her name. It wasn't hers anymore. How could I feel this way about a child I've never met who may not even be a girl (I'll admit I had a good laugh)! But regardless.. we now have a problem.
Back to square one. And square one is hard.
A little less than 8 weeks until I am due and I have a nameless baby. My insides are turning at the thought of it. I've not only looked at the top 1000 names, I've look at the top 1000 names since the year of 1920 and cannot get myself and my husband to agree on one. So from here I guess we walk by faith, knowing that somehow her name will grace our minds and will fit her perfectly. Even if my personality doesn't mesh well with the idea.
So please little one, stay put for as long as you must to give us as much time as we need to sort through the plethora of names we have at our disposal and I promise that one way or another you will not be nameless!
Cheers to the chaos of it all, you are so worth it. I love you to pieces little one.
- T
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