Some of the best advice, tips, or stories I have ever been dealt in my life are the ones whose opinions oppose my own. I would be a fool to say that on my own I have made all of the correct decisions. Many times I think what I am doing is right until someone raises the other side, much less desirable in my eyes and often times unwanted. But what kind of mother, or individual would I be without taking the time to listen.. because sometimes that decision could change my world.
Abortion. It's taboo. Some are passionate for one side or the other, others like to pretend it doesn't exist, to each there own. But it is here and it happens and so why should we feel that we are going to be harmed for talking about it?
Guess what? We are human. We all disagree, that isn't going to change any time soon. There will never be a day when we get everyone on the same page about abortion. If you come out and stand your ground on why you believe it should be a choice, you have become a murderer in the eyes of all those who oppose you. So then if you come out and say you disagree with it's fundamentals you suddenly hate women and don't believe they should have any rights to their own bodies. Dramatic? Very. But it's all a part of being human, whether you believe in god or evolution we were given this ability to agree and disagree so quit getting upset at our ability to use it.
One side we've never heard from is those whose life's we are directly effecting, the babies themselves. You may laugh because yes, clearly we cannot hear from them as they are no longer here to defend their side (although I'm sure most of them wouldn't much care for the idea of being terminated, just a guess). But guess what, there are a select few of us who "slipped through" the lines and are here to tell you what we think about it. I am here to share with you about my life. Nothing more, nothing less. All I want you to know is that by the grace of a beautiful woman I am able to live it.
December 6th 1993, I was born by one woman and adopted by another. Both of them are my "mothers" but in very different ways. My biological mother was unmarried and young, my biological father was going away to the military, equally as young and both were clueless. They had a choice to make, one that in the moment seemed to only effect them but little did they know the thousands of people that truly lay behind that decision.
Should I stay or should I go?
My biological mother then made the most self sacrificing, beautiful and hardest decision she has ever had to make and had to come to the realization that she was not fit to be my mother. She had to sit there and realize that she who created me was unfit for me. From that moment forth she set her heart to finding the man and woman that I was meant for, she had to search for parents for her own parentless child. She grew and nourished me, just like anyone else she felt me wiggle and kick and got to experience all aspects of pregnancy while growing closer to the people she chose to raise me.
And the day came. She birthed me and she gave me away.
You think it ends there, but I am here to tell you that is far from the truth. I want you to know what all she gave me.
She gave me the gift of a first day of school, my thirteenth birthday, experiencing the love of a new puppy, the gift of being a big sister one day to my precious brother. I also got the gift of heartbreak, pain and anger during a few hard teenage years. With that I was given the gift of making the dance team and attending prom. I was given the gift of college, and pursuing something that I am passionate about, something that will change others lives some day.
She gave me the gift of my husband. She gave me the gift of my two beautiful children. She gave them life.
There is nothing that I will ever be able to say or do to show her what this means to me. There is nothing more precious in my life than my babies, they occupy every inch of my being with unconditional love and this love is so fierce I don't dare attempt to explain it with words that will never do it justice.
Without her choice, none of this would exist. Would the world be just as beautiful? You betcha. Why? Because the world wouldn't know what they were missing out on. While I may not think that I am "all that" I bet you my parents would say otherwise, I am the child they prayed for. My husband would argue this, because I am the woman he spent his life searching for. I know my children would disagree, because I am their mother.
Why am I writing about this? Because if one person see's this and decides that the life they are growing is worth someone's time, even if it's not their own than I've done myself justice. I feel there is a debt.. some sort of time and effort that I owe to the world in trying to show you that my life did matter. It still does matter.
If I got in a car accident and lost this life tomorrow, people would weep because of all of the things I would be missing out on in my future. But if no one had yet to meet me, they wouldn't shed a tear. Because they don't know what ending my life meant for the world. I am no president, I am not planning on becoming a scientist that will make massive discoveries in the world of cancer but my life mattered just as much then as it does now. We just didn't know it yet.
So to the beautiful woman who chose to give me, and everyone around me this gift, thank you. Although those words will never seem like enough.
To my mother and father who took my life and made it into what it is today, you'll never know just how much this means to me.
To a mother who is lost, I am so sorry. I am sorry you found yourself in this position and I wish you nothing but happiness, I wan't nothing more than for you to smile again. If you choose to change the lives of so so many by giving life, I am in debt to your graciousness and only wish I could show each and every one of you what your choices mean to me. What they mean to this world.
You may disagree, and you're allowed to. Disagreeing with me, telling me that I am wrong for feeling this way won't ever hurt my feelings. Harsh words won't tear me down nor will it shake my strength. This world is beautiful and the only reason you are here to read this is because a woman decided that I was worth your time.
Please share, if you know anyone stuck in a hard spot. Please share if you don't know anyone but would rather hope this reaches the right person. If my life matters, their life does too.
-T
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