Take Back Toddlerhood.

My life with my toddler wasn't anything that anyone could prepare me for. There weren't any words that would accurately be able to describe the challenges, and there was certainly no way I could've premeditated how I would choose to handle certain situations that I am now presented with.

However, there is one thing that I can attest to.

I was only told how horrible, and difficult this time in our lives would be. No one ever said "we love toddlerhoood!", "those tantrums are only a small part of our wonderful days!", or "you will survive". I lived in constant fear of my son growing up because I just knew our good times were slowly slipping away. I hugged that tiny baby harder mourning the time that we were losing. But as he grew I realized something.. our love grew with him.

Tantrums started, fits began and I was at a loss of what to do from here but I knew that I had a choice to make. The more people I heard tell me that the good times were coming to an end, the more I was driven to ensure that this didn't happen. I chose to embrace. From that day forth I have been able to handle all of his emotions with a sense of grace and happiness, they were no longer a nuisance but another chance for me to show him that I will never leave his side. I want to take back toddlerhood, because it's beautiful, it is blissful and it is at the very essence of what we all agreed to upon choosing this life. Now let me assure you, there are moments where I lose myself and am left surprised that there is hair still left on my head. It is OKAY to feel overwhelmed because it is often hard to understand these tiny humans, but that is exactly it, they are still human and deserve to be treated as such.

Their Emotions are Just as Real as ours.
When they are crying because their shoes don't fit on the family dog, or because they learned that once you pour your water out of your cup you cannot put it back in it is easy to get frustrated at their lack of common sense or ability to realize the pettiness of the situation they are in. Face it, we've lived longer, our struggles are much harder than theirs and we think this situation is certainly not worthy of tears (or throwing themselves on the ground.. and thrashing.. and screaming.. in public). But then who is the inconsiderate one? They don't know our struggles, they aren't there yet, they can't relate and therefor we can't expect them to. These emotions they have are very real to them. This truly is the hardest thing they have yet to deal with in their lives and we are belittling it. I can't imagine being told not to cry sometimes when I am faced with more adult troubles such as coming up short on bills or having to give up something you wanted so badly for the good of others. They are no different and I would never want him to feel that his emotions take second place to my own.

This has to Happen.
Yep. Toddlerhood HAS to happen. The tantrums have to happen. It all must take place in order for our toddlers to thrive and grow into the children they are meant to be, there is no way to avoid it and truly it shouldn't be avoided in the first place. They will spend the rest of their lives trying to break the little ties they have to us, it's called independence and in order to raise successful adults they have to achieve it, this is just the beginning of their journey. In this stage they are learning that they don't have to hold our hands and are wanting to go explore on their own and it can be frustrating chasing your children around a store looking like a hot mess. They protest our decisions all though small and seemingly meaningless, however one day they will protest much larger decisions. It is our job to guide them on a healthy path while fostering this independence and giving it to them as we feel they are ready for it, but remember that sadly this has to happen.

I want his Trust.
There are times where he goes too far, and it is my job as a parent to show him that certain things are not okay to do. But for now, for the most part it's just an overload of emotions and I choose to hold him close through the hard times he experiences rather than scolding him for the emotions he is feeling. Why? Because I wan't him to be able to tell me how he is feeling for the rest of his life without feeling bad or feeling like he is going to get in trouble. I deeply desire his trust, I want us to be an open book as much as he will allow it. I can't start this path off right by telling him that I don't approve of his feelings or showing him I am not interested in hearing all about them. I need to show him now that I am his advocate, always.

Now I don't have this motherhood thing "right", I don't make all the perfect decisions, and just like everyone else I struggle some days more than others. But imagine a world in which we lifted new mothers up with confidence and excitement about the journey they are just beginning on? Imagine the world we could have if we raised our children to understand that emotions are okay to have and aided them in learning how to harness those emotions? So have your moment, lock yourself away in our bathroom and have a good cry because YOU are entitled to your emotions as well.

-T

| REPOST OF BLOG ON JULY 15, 2015 |

Time.

It has been a hot minute since I have sat down to write, and it feels good.

Writing has always been a source of relief for me, the little bit of "me" time that I sneak into my days to help keep me sane. It was the whole reason I started to blog and the whole reason that I must keep going regardless of life events that come our way.

This morning was different than the norm for our family, Colbie unexpectedly kept me up all night for the first time, so I asked my husband if he could take her when he woke up. Carter woke up a short time later and then AJ came and woke me up after about an hour of sweet, uninterrupted sleep to take over before he left for work. It was plain to see that he was running a little bit late and it was stressing him out, upon leaving he told me something that I am sure that we all have said many times over,

"I just wish I had more time"

There are home improvements we are trying to make that are taking a while to complete, we have phone calls to make to numerous people about different things, I have doctors appointments that I need to make for myself, but we simply cannot find the time. The theme seems to be that our children are taking up all of our time because they are so dependent - and this is true. Colbie wishes to be held all day, Carter is at an age where he wants to explore but still needs help, both kids need naps and diaper changes and baths and food and love and the list goes on. Between all of these moments it's easy to find stress seep in, but even if we were granted with more time to our days - would you choose to spend it any differently?

Someday this will be a memory.

I was once told to cherish these moments because "this will be the best time of my life". I am here, living the very best time in my life that I will ever get to live. When I look back I won't remember how I didn't get the chance to call so-and-so or finish this and that. I will remember the way that my daughter looks at my husband, the goofy sounds that Carter makes once he drifts off to sleep and the warmth of my two children in bed with us in the morning.

Yesterday is gone. I never get it back.

Colbie wants to be held for most of her day, and someday she won't want to be held at all. Someday I will put her down, never to pick her up again. During those days will I be able to look back on life and smile, knowing that I lived every sweet and precious moment to the extent of its glory, or will I ache for these days to come back to me?

Carter is living and breathing his "terrible two's", when I look back will I feel content knowing that I always sought to cherish how truly beautiful this stage can be or will I find that I was hung up in frustration at his spouts of anger?

My husband is correct, We all do wish we had more time.

But even with more time, I wouldn't choose to spend it any other way than basking in the love of my children. Because time is a gift with a limit. It is ever so easy to find yourself caught up in the stresses that embrace all that is parenthood, God never intended this journey to be easy - but he wouldn't have given us this time if it wasn't something that he knew we were capable of.

So hold your children a few minutes longer, kiss them one more time, listen to the long and endless stories that they have to share with you, put everything down for a moment and use your time wisely. Use this time to truly live, relish in the moments we have before they are gone.

Anything can wait in line to the love of my children. Always.

- T

The Hardest Part

I have been pleasantly surprised with the ease of our transition into life with two children. The love they have for each other always astounds me, our days are filled with such joy (and minor chaos). I don't know how we ever lived without the both of them! While transitioning to two wasn't the nightmare for me that everyone made it out to be, no transition comes flawlessly.

The hardest part of my transition has not been what you would think, we were lucky to escape jealousy issues, we sleep well at night, Carter has been happy as ever and Colbie is an absolute gem. The hardest part of the transition is myself. There are few nights where I don't sit there wishing I had more hours in the day for my kids. I remember spending all day giving Carter attention because he was my only little one and I loved that! Most nights I will think back on my day and wish I had more of myself to go around to give one of my kids just a little bit more. Whether that day was consumed with toddler sized tantrums and Carter demanding my attention or maybe that day Colbie was a little fussier than normal and I wasn't able to sit and color with Carter like we are used to.

I go to sleep needing more time.

I want to be able to lay on the floor with Colbie giving her undivided attention and helping her thrive all while having a few hours to do arts and crafts and run around with my growing boy. Between that, typical household duties and being a student I can't seemingly find the happy middle ground.

AJ and I want a large family and always have, it's a dream of mine. But I can't help but think that if I don't have the time now I certainly won't have the time when we add more. How am I supposed to give enough time and attention to five children when I am failing at doing so with two? For the first time in my life I have thought very seriously about the fact that I may be done having children. I was sharing this with my husband the other night when he asked me one question..

Do you think our kids feel this way?

... Well. No.

They know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved, neither one of them seems to feel neglected at the end of the day. Neither of them are failing to thrive because of me. They are happy, they are healthy and they love their mother.

I have to remind myself often that many times my own insecurities can take a vicious hold of my mind and that when I take the time to look at things from a new angle I am often left feeling pretty silly. While I will still always wish for more hours in the day to spend with my babies I have to remind myself that they love this life just as much as I do, even if maybe that day we didn't get to color as long or roll around on the floor as much. My heart is big enough for the both of them even if the day is not!

Let's all take a moment and quit beating ourselves up for little things that may not be worth our time, take a deep breath and know that our children love us for all that we are and all that we do.

- T

Hobokin & Co

I am so excited to share with you today my new favorite staple piece to, literally, any outfit of mine! The Hobokin & Co Rose Quartz Drop necklace! What enticed me most to this piece is the rose quartz itself, I had heard of all of its incredible benefits but have never been able to try it out for myself, so once I saw that Lauryn had them in her shop I knew I had to snag one.

The rose quartz is considered to be the stone of love, helping you to rid of any emotional wounds that you may have (whether big or small!). In my case I knew it could help me in my relationship with my husband, although our relationship is strong and beautiful I have a tendency to bring up the past a lot in arguments which I know is not beneficial. I wanted the rose quartz to help me rid of all the petty little issues that my husband and I had in the past and be able to focus in on the "now". Issues like "Well.. two weeks ago you forgot to put the towel back on the rack and left it on the floor!", those little tiny issues grew to be one big issue making it hard for me to see the beauty in all the other parts of our relationship. The rose quartz also provides a deep sense of fulfilment and contentment allowing one to truly give and receive love from others, which is something I knew I needed in regards to my children on the days that I feel under appreciated (which can be most days!).

Another thing I deeply admire about Hobokin & Co is not only the quality of Lauryn's products but the fact that all of her pieces are made by her hard working momma hands in her home during her spare time in order to provide for her family. There is nothing sweeter than knowing that you are contributing directly to a family's dinner table, and there is nothing more inspiring than a mother who works so hard to provide it. Her "job" is less of a job to her and more of a source of happiness and meditation and you can see this through the love she puts into all of her work.

Want to see the entire Hobokin & Co collection? Click HERE and be sure to use the code "ddd20" for 20% off your next purchase!

- T

| http://www.hobokinandco.com/ | Sterling Silver Quartz Drop with Silver Bar |

Telling our Families we were Pregnant

This week we are spending time on the vlog catching everyone up on our past all the way up to our present! There is a whole lot to our story just to put into a few short minutes of film but this sums it up pretty well. Be sure to watch to hear about how I met my husband and how we told our families we were expecting the arrival of our sweet sweet boy!

- T